And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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