So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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