I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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