i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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