how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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