How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
