You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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