Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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