So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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