In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
