Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right