with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldnâ€™t Be More Proud
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it