And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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