i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
