im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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