i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
They have beer where we have blood.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
