I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
