Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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