Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Drunk is not a location!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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