i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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