I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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