I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
