"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
