I think I won the penis lottery.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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