we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
