my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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