i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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