if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
