i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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