She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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