I wanna passion pit in your ass
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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