So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize