My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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