After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
