I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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