I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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