i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
