how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
