brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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