Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
