Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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