p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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