I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
