You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
