32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
