WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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