i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
