That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
