I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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