direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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