id be glad to
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
