Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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