please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize