We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
