i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
