the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
