"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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