not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
