So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
