my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
