Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Randomize
