I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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