Can i not drive my cunt home
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
