I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
