I am puke
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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