we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
