we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
no you cant smoke seaweed
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
