He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
don't judge my taste in strippers
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
